Absence Makes the Heart Fondle....What?

Hello Dear Readers.

You may say to yourself, "I-Sac, you and DSC have not been writing latley, what should I do with my ultimately boring life, I have nothing to read, nothing to do, no leaders to look up at, and I'm lost."

Well, You're in luck!
I'm back.

Its currently 6:30....A.M.(Frig)

To the lamend, that means that its half past early as hell. I belive that I woke up to the sound of my dad almost throwing the clock through the wall. By almost, I mean that she was mad at it. Clearly he is not as insane as me.

I then proceeded to read some www.tmuscel.com. This is a funny site, with somewhat inappropriate pictures up. Scantily clad, petit women. I take zero responsibility for putting this site up, I advised you of the parental advisory, pervert. (Yes I'm talking to you DAVE). DAMN YOU SPELL CHECKER.

I HATE spell checker. I know I cannot spell, and I dont give a shit. So deal with it.

Come back soon,

I-Sac

BULLSHIT.

In response to DSC's post(Total Bullshit on the disqualification of Superman).... lets be honest, if it were down to Helboy and The Hulk, the Hulk would win!!!
I mean, sure Helboy can use his little pistol, but can he beast out ?
No.
There is no way in hell that Hellboy would be able to hulk out, and get bigger and bigger as he got angrier. Also, we would obviously come down to Superman, he must be included, he is a superhero! I think that the Hulk would beat Wolverine because Magneto could beat him by bending his anamatium, therefore Hulks strength could beat Wolverine.

Thus we come to the final battle of Superman versus The Hulk. This would be the m0st epic fight of recorded history. The two would destroy the world, BUT with Superman's weakness for all things human, he would encounter problems. We come to the debate of laser eyes... Could Hulk withstand the force of his lasers? If not, he would surely loose. I leave it up to the reader before I continue.

Could Hulk withstand Superman's Eye Lasers?

I-Sac

Its Friggin Snowing

I am not happy, I have to shovel the stupid driveway. Goddamn snow.

We reached 600 hits today : ) Nice.

Click on the ads!

I-Sac

The Ultimate Battle

I am sitting here trying to come up with the ultimate battle ever. So to start my narrowing down of fighters I began thinking of who the toughest people ever were. So to name off a couple of my favorites:

- The Hulk

- Ironman

- Wolverine

- Goku

- The Thing

- Rambo

- Batman

- Subzero

- Hellboy

(I am not putting Superman into this because I hate it when he wins simply because no one can hurt him)

So right away I have to take away Rambo. I like to put Stallone in most of my posts but he is a human and Wolverine would kill him instantly.

Next I would have to take away the Thing because I think he would just break if Sub Zero froze him and then Hellboy punched his frozen body.

Next would be Batman. Sure he hides in the dark and has stealth kills but Goku can dodge attacks so fast that you can't tell that he is moving. So Batman is out.

So next I am going to kill off Subzero. I know Subzero is tough as nails but if he tried to freeze Goku, Goku would just meet his attack with a kamehameha and kill Subzero.

So that leaves us with

- Goku

- Ironman

- The Hulk

- Hellboy

- Wolverine

Next I think it would be an epic fight between Hellboy and the Hulk. Depending on alot of things the fight could go either way. Also I have watched both of them take a number of huge hits and keep on going. But I would have to give it to Hellboy because despite the Hulks incredible brute strength he is dumb as a post and Hellboy could match up with his strength but would defeat the hulk through his equipment and plannning.

Next I would have to have Ironman vs Wolverine. I know most people would disagree with me strongly but I think Wolverine would win. I have seen Wolverine get his ass kicked so many times and still get up and epically kill someone. I am sorry everyone but Wolverine won this round.

For the Semi Finals I will have Guko against Hellboy. I don't think it is hard to imagine how this fight would end. Hellboy would run in and throw his hardest punches onto Goku and Goku would pick him up, fly him high into the air, throw him and land him with a kamehameha.

So the final match is Guko vs Wolverine. This fight would start off with Wolverine running towards Goku and landing a diving stab into Goku's chest. Goku would grab Wolverines arms, rip his claws out of his own chest and punch him into a mountain! Wolverine would start his healing powers and regain his strength. Wolverine would once again run towards Goku trying to plant another attack. Wolverine gets hit with a quick ki shot but wolverine fights through while healing himself. Wolverine continues to fight through the ki shots and drives his claws through Guko's chest pinning Guko into the ground. Guko is suffering but concentrates through his pain to gather his ki and plants his hands underneath Wolverines stomach and unleashes the Kamehameha times 10 destroying Wolverine.

Alright everyone tell me what you think and who you thought should have been in the final match

DSC

A Bit Of An Asshole

So while sitting on my girlfriends coach and calling out to her using the name "Dinky", I began to recall some of the nicknames I had for some of the girls I was with..

1. Horseface (She had gigantic teeth)

2. Chomper (She Bit Me)

3. Stash (She didn't really have any upper lip hair. I don't know how the whole thing got started)

4. and lastly Va-Gina (becuase her name was Gina and she had a smelly Vagina)

Overall I thought I was hilarious at the time and I am currently still laughing about it. So to conclude, I may be a little bit of a asshole.

love you guys,

DSC

This Better Be Worth It

I have just spent my Saturday studying my ass off for a Psychology exam I have in 4 days. I went to a cafe and studied for my entire day. I have come to connect University with the stress of studying and I am think to myself, "this better be worth it". Luckily in two weeks I will be back home and relaxing for Christmas. I have heard that one of my good friends is going to buy me some two ply for my present which makes me pumped. I am tired of whipping my ass with napkins that I took from the university meal hall. Giving presents is a whole new story. I am forced to make my family and friends gifts out of wood. I hope they will turn out. I am running out of ideas of things to make so if anyone thinks of anything that you can make on a wood lathe, feel free to comment.

So today I almost got hit by a car. I was crossing the street with my girlfriend and she had to pull be backwards in order to avoid the car. The crosswalk said I was able to walk for another 10 seconds but that did't stop the speeding car from trying to make his turn. After he stopped in front of me, he began flailing his arms like it was my fault even though I was clearly pointing towards the crosswalk sign. Fucker.

So now I am going to go back to studying. I need to try to get through another module tonight so I can relax and watch the Ultimate Fighter Finale tonight! I hope Big Country Roy gets his ass kicked. I mean look at the guy. He is a fat peace of shit

(got this photo at http://www.matratz.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/_bigcountrybello.jpg)

Like would you ever think that this fat ass could ever be a fighter? I would probably try to pick a fight with him if I was drunk at a bar. Plus Dana White hates the guy so I don't think Big Country will last in the UFC.

Anyways guys I am out

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Things to do When (Instead of) Studying For an Exam.

Procrastination is like masturbation: In the end, you're only screwing yourself. (Lets be honest...whats wrong with that?)

Cook yourself discounted meat and potatoes.
Eat discounted meat and potatoes.
Do dishes from said adventure in the kitchen.
Empty the dishwasher.
Get the mail.
Load the dishwasher.
Do the laundry, just in case you actually need some clean clothes in the middle of studying.....
Eat some candy that is god knows how old.
Take a crap...and read sports illustrated on the shitter for 30 minuets.
Walk around the house for an hour, looking for other ways to avoid studying.
Sit down to study. and decide that downloading Mortal Kombat 1&2 is way more important.
Watch said movie.
Take another crap.
Think about studying, but decide a 3:30 diner is just what you need to motivate yourself to study.....
Watch yet another Mortal Kombat.
Plug your computer in, because its had a busy day....helping you study.
Make a playlist for studying......
Download the music you need for playlist.....
Screw studying, Tim’s coffee is way more important.
20.Think about studying, but realize its 12 freakin’ thirty, and sleep is necessary.

I-sac

I Wish I Was Rambo!

So last night while I was trying to advertise my blog, I watched "Rambo First Blood II". The problem with watching a movie like Rambo late at night is that it gets me far too excited. When I get excited I gain a lot of energy which results in me having a very hard time sleeping. When I watch a movie like that I feel like I can take over the world and kick any ones ass. This is also the case for movies such as Rocky (Especially Rocky III), The Hulk (the new one) and 300. Whenever I watched Rocky I would feel so jacked and instantly run to the gym! So basically right now I would love to be Rambo because the movies prove that no one can stop Rambo and I want that power. But I would settle for any Stallone character because Stallone is beyond tough.

So right now I am sitting here watch Ultimate Fighter and I am wondering how Rambo would do in the combination. Rambo has gotten out of every mess he has ever gotten into to now I am wondering how he would do in the octagon vs Marcus and Kimbo Slice. So I am going to post of pictures of these guys and you can tell me who you would think would win. Also Compare the young Rambo and the New One..

Older Rambo (Bigger, Stronger, Slower)

(photo from http://productionguild.com/live/pictures/rambo.jpg)

Younger Rambo (Quick, Crazy, Tough as Nails)

(photo from http://netwmd.com/blog/wp-content/themes/default/images/rambo.jpg)

Marcus Jones (Fucking HUGE, huge punches and awesome ground work)

(photo from http://blogs.creativeloafing.com/dailyloaf/files/2009/11/marcus-jones.jpg)

Kimbo Slice (Nothing Else Needs To Be Said About Kimbo. Type his name into Youtube)

(photo from http://earlthebutcher.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/kimbo.jpg)

Tell me what you think

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Top 20 Manliest Movies

So I-Sac and I put together a list of what we thought was the manliest fucking movies ever. This list is of the top 20 but we want to expand it to top 25 so put your input in.

1. Starwars

2. Die Hard

3. fight club

4. Rocky

5. Termintor

6. 300

7. Batman

8. Band of Brothers

9. Inglorious Bastards

10. Fast and Furious

11. Lord of the Rings

12. James Bond

13. Gladiator

14. Godfather

15. Scarface

16. Braveheart

17. Plantoon

18. Predator

19. Mortal Kombat

20. Pulp Fiction

Americans..... Yeah, Watch and See.

I remember, as a small child I went to America. While in New Hamshire, I was asked if in Nova Scotia we still had to make our own igloos.... I laughed, but the two Americans were very serious. Here is an example of how stupid some are....

Part 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEOmTYcb7PE&feature=PlayList&p=C8BE5AE66EDE7699&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=24
 
Part 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OetNV8vf9y8&feature=PlayList&p=C8BE5AE66EDE7699&index=25
 
Part 3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQLhIzYepqM&NR=1
 
Part 4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFY2_l5oyQI&feature=related
 
Part 5
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pY_JNmhhz6s&feature=related

Penguin Toss

Below there is a game which involves letting a penguin drop and you can swing and kill it. Please enjoy the game as many times as your like. Its sweet. Plus- You will help in the donation and funding of our " Buy Dave Toilet Paper Fund". Thanks, and please induldge.

I-Sac

Poor Collage Students=Us

As previously stated:

“We are poor as dirt.”

My friend here (DSC) called me the other day, Using Skype( because he cannot afford to call me on an actual phone, to tell me that he ran out of toilet paper. He lives on his own, and bums food off his girlfriend who lives in the building next to his. He then told me that he could not buy any because he was that poor. He had also gotten the last role of toilet paper via crime.

HE STOLE IT FROM THE AIRPORT.

This is a prime example of? You guessed it.. A Poor Collage Student. Thats about the long and skinny of it, or short and stubby.... You get the idea.

The Problem is: We need money. So.... Click on the advertisements which will in turn after enough clicks give us money : )

Thanks,

I-Sac

Crazy Ass Prof

While sitting in English class yesterday I was amazed to notice all of the stupid things that my English professor does. Quickly after asking a question and recieving no response, she began cupping her hands together while stating that she was making farting noises with her hands. like WHAT THE FUCK! That was not the first time she did something random either. One time she came into the room and she went straight to the board and wrote the words Slam Zanny... Than she said that she always thought that Eminem used to say "I'm Slam Zanny Yeah I'm the Real Zanny!" My professor is crazy. She also enjoys giving us really sexual and disturbing stories to read because she likes to watch us become uncomfortable. The last story she gave us was about a girl that killed herself and told everyone that her boyfriends dick was the size of her little finger in a note that was read at her funeral. Next story was called "Tales From The Breast" which is seriously fucked up. The story ends with the women cutting of her tits and placing them on her husbands chest.... My professor is screwed but still very entertaining.

Anyways to discuss something that happened to me today that really sucked. I tried to cook myself chicken today. I raised enough money to buy a bit of chicken and I tried to cook some for myself. After cooking it and eating it I looked down at my plate (I do not know how I missed this) and saw a puddle of blood on the plate. So I ate bloody chicken which is disgusting and made me puke later in the day after giving me huge cramps. So the chicken that I spent my money one didn't even stay in my stomach. What a waste of money!

Anyways that is all from me today

Peace Motha Fuckas

DSC

For the Douchers.

What is you’re preference in wine? Do you prefer the cold, refreshing chill of refrigerate white wine? Or do you prefer the warm, yet smooth bitter taste of an aged red wine? Its really up to you.... or is it?

No, Who cares. I have come to the realization that many people are just morons who cant tell the difference. If you have herd the saying “Lets get FUCKED UP!” You’re probably a redneck. Or you are at a university party. A hold no bars, drink till you drop, puke that shit up party. My favorite.

I recently went to a friends. Oh Yeah, it was really innocent right away. We were at a friends, drinking a few beer, having some fun slaying zombies. You know, your typical friday night, because your probably a looser. But instead of friends, your probably drinking alone, playing COD till you pass out. You jerk.

Let me guess, you surf the web a lot. You visit sites like www.FML.com, but because of recent events, you don’t find it that funny...when half the posts could be about you. Well let me give you some advice. Find a party, go to it, bring beer, scream “Lets Get Fucked Up!” and have a good one.

Just remember: Do not, I repeat, DO NOT eat a double Big Mac with a supersized fries. Because before the night is out, the fucking hamburgler will be punching you in the stomach, and you will see that food again....

I-Sac

Being a Momma's Boy is Awesome

I am going to admit something that many are embarrassed about... I am a Momma's boy. My mom pampered me when I was a baby and hasn't stopped since. Trust me, I know the perks that come with being a momma's boy. First of all, all I have to do is mention at I am hungry and my mom will make me a sandwich. If I need money my mom will provide and she will never disappoint. At the moment I am out of province going to university. I live in a on campus apartment with three other guys and my girlfriend is living in the building beside me. I was afraid to go away because I secretly did not want to stop the pampering. Luckily my girlfriend is an angel. She cooks me meals, makes me coffee and takes care of me. The reason I bring this up is the following; I am currently sitting on her couch, feeling full from the two bowls of pudding she made me and sipping a watermelon vodka/ coke drink. But this post is not just about how I am spoiled, there is a underlining message. Sadly this message is much more embarrassing then me admiting that I am a mamma's boy. I, like, girly drinks... I try to mask this by drinking straight whisky and beer. I try to show off my muscline nature by talking about football and UFC and going to the gym. But frankly girly drinks are awesome. They have cool flavors and occasionally they have umbrella toothpicks.

Now to talk about some of the excitement in my day.

My girlfriend is babysitting a 10 week old puppy. I would tell you what type of dog it is but I have no idea. It has a flat face and stubby legs if that helps at all. This dog has a big problem with holding in its bowel movements. To be blunt, the dog shits everywhere. The dog especially tries to shit on whatever mat she can find. There are several mats that she goes for but the main ones are located in front of the kitchen sink and the other in the bathroom. So today (after I took the dog out to pee) the dog began to run back and forth to the mats trying to get past us to shit. We knew she had to shit so my girlfriends roommate grabbed her and raced towards the newspaper. While swinging the dog in mid air, the dog began to projectile shit everywhere. It sprayed all over the floor and one of the chairs. Becoming one of the funniest/ grossest moments of my life.

Peace Motha Fuckas

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The Shit. (I-Sack)

Mullets: Business Up Front, Party in the Back.

This is the quote that inspired my blog today, I was watching Supernatural and i noted this quote from an amazing character who was so inspirational that I forgot his name already........

Anyhow: Supernatural= Scary As HELL.

For the not so intelligent(This blog will come with insults, so deal with it stupid), Supernatural is a show which is about two brothers, Sam and Dean. Dean is that all american B.A (Bad Ass) who is a kick ass machine. He lives on the edge with his Leather jacket, fighting evil spirits and daemons, basically kicking any ass thats in his way. Well The Point is, Dean lights bitches up with his shotgun, kicks ass and takes names later.

Sam is the uptight white-collar bitch, who everyone wants to be as smart as( Your stupid remember?). He is the 'Brains' of the Ass-Kicking operation. Together they make a team that is destined to destroy each-other, OR save the human race.

THE POINT OF THIS POST:

People like to scare themselves shitless(You). That makes us stupid, but makes shows like supernatural the bomb.

Talk to you Idiots Later,

I-Sac

Poor College student

I have just come to the conclusion that I am the definition of a poor college student. Today while taking a crap I realized that I ran out of the toilet paper that I stole from the airport bathroom. So I had to hop into the shower, clean up the mess, and go to subway to grab some more toilet paper. To continue my poor college student ways, I have only been drinking things that you can add water to and I have been eating Zoodles that I bought for 5/$3.00. Luckily my girlfriend cooks me meals and keeps me alive.

So I think you can assume that I don’t have any money. Well the truth is that I have $3.00s to my name. I blame this on buying alcohol and wasting money on Pro-lines. Buying Pro-lines was the worst idea I ever had. Someone would think that trying to predict the end results of sports games would be easier than it is. The truth is that nothing is for sure despite what you think. I bought 3 ten dollar tickets trying to bet on teams that I thought were “For Sure”. I tried to pick different teams on each ticket to ensure that one team would screw everything up, but I did pick for the Raiders to lose on every ticket. The Raiders tare one of the worst damn teams that ever existed. It was 9 to 1 that they would lose which means that there was suppose to be no chance that they could ever win. Also they were playing the Jets which is a good team. So the Raiders somehow pulled through and won a fucking game. At a young age I used to claim that the Raiders were my favourite team (Because I thought their jerseys were cool looking ) so I should have been excited but that didn’t take away the fact that they were the only team that got in the way of wining $75.00 in total on the tickets. So all in all, screw you Raiders!

So now all I can afford is the free cable that my dorm room has provided me, which is a pretty sweet deal. So I am sitting on my couch, watching “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody” while trying to figure out who I should pick for my next Pro-line ticket. So I am going to go to the store and hand the cashier a handful of nickels and dimes in order to continue my gambling addiction.

Peace Motha Fuckas

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Why Another One?

So to start of my day today I woke up to the screaming of a guinea pig I have in my dorm room. Mind you, this is not my guinea pig, I am only looking after it while my friend is being investigated for having animals. Back to my story. The guinea pig does not make normal guinea pig noises. No, it screams. Actual screaming. It will scream for several reasons such as the food may appear low (although there is still a ton of food in there he just covered it up with shavings), the water may be low or for what ever reason, he just feels like screaming. So I checked his food and water and they were fine so it appeared that he just felt like it. So I crawled back into my bed and tried to fall back asleep. Once I began to get comfortable and nearly asleep my alarm went off and I had my first class.

So to fast forward a bit. I was studying in my girlfriends apartment when I got a call from the owner saying that she wanted me to unlock the door so she could show her friends. I agreed eventually and went over to unlock it. I told her that I was tired of having him in my room and wanted to give him to someone else. She agreed and I left. So a couple more hours past and I went home. I heard the guinea pig screaming and I checked to see what was wrong. At that time I froze. What I saw when I looked in was another guinea pigs head poking out of the plastic home. The new one was chirping while the other one was screaming in response. They also chase each other while kicking shavings onto the floor. So I texted the owner and asked her WTF? She eventually came over drunk as fuck with a huge smile on her face. I tell her that the new guy is loud as hell and she responds with “Oh, Its not a boy its a girl. They breed every 2 months and I am going to sell them $50 each until I have enough to buy a puppy!!!” (clearly drunk knowledge).

So now I am sitting in my dorm room trying to study while I hear the two guinea pigs clearly doing it and I think to myself. Why Another One?

Peace Motha Fuckas

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