For the Douchers.

What is you’re preference in wine? Do you prefer the cold, refreshing chill of refrigerate white wine? Or do you prefer the warm, yet smooth bitter taste of an aged red wine? Its really up to you.... or is it?

No, Who cares. I have come to the realization that many people are just morons who cant tell the difference. If you have herd the saying “Lets get FUCKED UP!” You’re probably a redneck. Or you are at a university party. A hold no bars, drink till you drop, puke that shit up party. My favorite.

I recently went to a friends. Oh Yeah, it was really innocent right away. We were at a friends, drinking a few beer, having some fun slaying zombies. You know, your typical friday night, because your probably a looser. But instead of friends, your probably drinking alone, playing COD till you pass out. You jerk.

Let me guess, you surf the web a lot. You visit sites like www.FML.com, but because of recent events, you don’t find it that funny...when half the posts could be about you. Well let me give you some advice. Find a party, go to it, bring beer, scream “Lets Get Fucked Up!” and have a good one.

Just remember: Do not, I repeat, DO NOT eat a double Big Mac with a supersized fries. Because before the night is out, the fucking hamburgler will be punching you in the stomach, and you will see that food again....

I-Sac

Being a Momma's Boy is Awesome

I am going to admit something that many are embarrassed about... I am a Momma's boy. My mom pampered me when I was a baby and hasn't stopped since. Trust me, I know the perks that come with being a momma's boy. First of all, all I have to do is mention at I am hungry and my mom will make me a sandwich. If I need money my mom will provide and she will never disappoint. At the moment I am out of province going to university. I live in a on campus apartment with three other guys and my girlfriend is living in the building beside me. I was afraid to go away because I secretly did not want to stop the pampering. Luckily my girlfriend is an angel. She cooks me meals, makes me coffee and takes care of me. The reason I bring this up is the following; I am currently sitting on her couch, feeling full from the two bowls of pudding she made me and sipping a watermelon vodka/ coke drink. But this post is not just about how I am spoiled, there is a underlining message. Sadly this message is much more embarrassing then me admiting that I am a mamma's boy. I, like, girly drinks... I try to mask this by drinking straight whisky and beer. I try to show off my muscline nature by talking about football and UFC and going to the gym. But frankly girly drinks are awesome. They have cool flavors and occasionally they have umbrella toothpicks.

Now to talk about some of the excitement in my day.

My girlfriend is babysitting a 10 week old puppy. I would tell you what type of dog it is but I have no idea. It has a flat face and stubby legs if that helps at all. This dog has a big problem with holding in its bowel movements. To be blunt, the dog shits everywhere. The dog especially tries to shit on whatever mat she can find. There are several mats that she goes for but the main ones are located in front of the kitchen sink and the other in the bathroom. So today (after I took the dog out to pee) the dog began to run back and forth to the mats trying to get past us to shit. We knew she had to shit so my girlfriends roommate grabbed her and raced towards the newspaper. While swinging the dog in mid air, the dog began to projectile shit everywhere. It sprayed all over the floor and one of the chairs. Becoming one of the funniest/ grossest moments of my life.

Peace Motha Fuckas

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The Shit. (I-Sack)

Mullets: Business Up Front, Party in the Back.

This is the quote that inspired my blog today, I was watching Supernatural and i noted this quote from an amazing character who was so inspirational that I forgot his name already........

Anyhow: Supernatural= Scary As HELL.

For the not so intelligent(This blog will come with insults, so deal with it stupid), Supernatural is a show which is about two brothers, Sam and Dean. Dean is that all american B.A (Bad Ass) who is a kick ass machine. He lives on the edge with his Leather jacket, fighting evil spirits and daemons, basically kicking any ass thats in his way. Well The Point is, Dean lights bitches up with his shotgun, kicks ass and takes names later.

Sam is the uptight white-collar bitch, who everyone wants to be as smart as( Your stupid remember?). He is the 'Brains' of the Ass-Kicking operation. Together they make a team that is destined to destroy each-other, OR save the human race.

THE POINT OF THIS POST:

People like to scare themselves shitless(You). That makes us stupid, but makes shows like supernatural the bomb.

Talk to you Idiots Later,

I-Sac

Poor College student

I have just come to the conclusion that I am the definition of a poor college student. Today while taking a crap I realized that I ran out of the toilet paper that I stole from the airport bathroom. So I had to hop into the shower, clean up the mess, and go to subway to grab some more toilet paper. To continue my poor college student ways, I have only been drinking things that you can add water to and I have been eating Zoodles that I bought for 5/$3.00. Luckily my girlfriend cooks me meals and keeps me alive.

So I think you can assume that I don’t have any money. Well the truth is that I have $3.00s to my name. I blame this on buying alcohol and wasting money on Pro-lines. Buying Pro-lines was the worst idea I ever had. Someone would think that trying to predict the end results of sports games would be easier than it is. The truth is that nothing is for sure despite what you think. I bought 3 ten dollar tickets trying to bet on teams that I thought were “For Sure”. I tried to pick different teams on each ticket to ensure that one team would screw everything up, but I did pick for the Raiders to lose on every ticket. The Raiders tare one of the worst damn teams that ever existed. It was 9 to 1 that they would lose which means that there was suppose to be no chance that they could ever win. Also they were playing the Jets which is a good team. So the Raiders somehow pulled through and won a fucking game. At a young age I used to claim that the Raiders were my favourite team (Because I thought their jerseys were cool looking ) so I should have been excited but that didn’t take away the fact that they were the only team that got in the way of wining $75.00 in total on the tickets. So all in all, screw you Raiders!

So now all I can afford is the free cable that my dorm room has provided me, which is a pretty sweet deal. So I am sitting on my couch, watching “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody” while trying to figure out who I should pick for my next Pro-line ticket. So I am going to go to the store and hand the cashier a handful of nickels and dimes in order to continue my gambling addiction.

Peace Motha Fuckas

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Why Another One?

So to start of my day today I woke up to the screaming of a guinea pig I have in my dorm room. Mind you, this is not my guinea pig, I am only looking after it while my friend is being investigated for having animals. Back to my story. The guinea pig does not make normal guinea pig noises. No, it screams. Actual screaming. It will scream for several reasons such as the food may appear low (although there is still a ton of food in there he just covered it up with shavings), the water may be low or for what ever reason, he just feels like screaming. So I checked his food and water and they were fine so it appeared that he just felt like it. So I crawled back into my bed and tried to fall back asleep. Once I began to get comfortable and nearly asleep my alarm went off and I had my first class.

So to fast forward a bit. I was studying in my girlfriends apartment when I got a call from the owner saying that she wanted me to unlock the door so she could show her friends. I agreed eventually and went over to unlock it. I told her that I was tired of having him in my room and wanted to give him to someone else. She agreed and I left. So a couple more hours past and I went home. I heard the guinea pig screaming and I checked to see what was wrong. At that time I froze. What I saw when I looked in was another guinea pigs head poking out of the plastic home. The new one was chirping while the other one was screaming in response. They also chase each other while kicking shavings onto the floor. So I texted the owner and asked her WTF? She eventually came over drunk as fuck with a huge smile on her face. I tell her that the new guy is loud as hell and she responds with “Oh, Its not a boy its a girl. They breed every 2 months and I am going to sell them $50 each until I have enough to buy a puppy!!!” (clearly drunk knowledge).

So now I am sitting in my dorm room trying to study while I hear the two guinea pigs clearly doing it and I think to myself. Why Another One?

Peace Motha Fuckas

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